Archive for the ‘marriage’ Category

Bathroom For My Birthday- August 4, 2014

Monday, August 4th, 2014

bathroom edited

 

Yesterday I turned 33. My husband asked me what I wanted. I wanted waffles for breakfast. It’s a “special day” so I justified the sugar intake, pretending I abstain from sugar the rest of the year.

It took me awhile to tell him what I really wanted. You know, the present you mull over in your mind the week before your birthday and really, REALLY want, but feel guilty asking for it? I finally looked at him the day before and said “Okay. I know what I want and I promise it doesn’t cost anything!” I find this tidbit is crucial for the money-conscious. I said, “I want the bathroom clean and I don’t want to do it. I mean, I want to get it really clean, like scrubbing-the-shower type cleanliness. Oh, and I don’t want to do it.” He looked at me funny and said, “Okay.”

Greyson and I share the housework. He’s great about cooking and cleaning. Naturally, I’ve picked up more of the load now that I’m home, but he is great about dividing up the chores. We seem to get disgusted with our filth at the same time and get anxious to clean it up.

I peeked in on him scrubbing. He was sweating. He looked up and saw me holding the baby. He warned me about the chemical smell and told me to leave. I did. I just wanted to see him scrubbing. It was adorable. I giggled at his plumber’s crack as he was down on his hands and knees. (I’m so sorry I told everyone that on the Internet, Greyson. But, your plumber’s crack was cute. Hey, I didn’t take a picture!) 

I walked on the floor and wiggled the toes of my good foot on the clean, cold tiles. I showered and leaned my head against the glass clear of soap scum. My sink had been sanitized, free of toothpaste globs. As I brushed my teeth I knew I was a loved wife and mother.

Husbands of world, you are likely to experience some ::ahem:: “marital bliss” if you make this part of your wife’s present. I’m just saying, it was a happy birthday.

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Sacrifice- June 26, 2014

Thursday, June 26th, 2014

I’m feeling foolish as I write this. Foolish because my last post was begging for your advice about strollers as my brain was consumed with our upcoming travels. We had grandiose plans to take our family of four to a family reunion in Nebraska this weekend. Now that it’s almost here I’m a little embarrassed to say we had to cancel at the last minute. Why, you ask? The short answer, money.

money pic

So often money is a taboo thing to discuss. I figure I talk about my leaking boobs and stitched up lady-parts on my mommy blog, so why should I be ashamed of discussing finances? I don’t know, but money is a touchy subject for most people. It’s private. It shows how vulnerable we are. That’s funny for a generation of people who are putting every mundane personal detail of their lives on the Internet to say that money is the thing that most shows our vulnerability, but it’s true.

Don’t get me wrong. Technically our family could afford to go on this trip, but at the price of some real financial strain later this year. It was going to cost an absurd amount to fly, rent a car and get a hotel room. We didn’t want to put a ton on credit cards. You know, credit cards. The cards people our age got when they walked on campus freshman year with their school logo on it.

Here’s the thing, we REALLY wanted to go on this trip. Bad. We had talked it up to our 3-year-old. We told her how great the zoo was going to be and how she was going to get to play with 50 million cousins she’d never met. We promised aunts they would get snuggle time with our squishy 7-month-old. I planned outfits and did laundry. I made arrangements for friends to dog sit. We bought plane tickets. We were going. We had our hearts set on it.

That’s the problem. We had our hearts set on going and wanted to go. I’ve found that Gen X/Millennials like us typically get what we want. Think about it. We came of age in the 1980’s and 1990’s. People my age knew nothing but mostly peace and prosperity until the economic collapse five years ago. Growing up, I figured things would always keep getting better and better. No, seriously. I just assumed my parents would always make more money than they did the year before, ensuring great family vacations and my college tuition taken care of.

This is not to say our generation is not innovative and hardworking. We are. I’m proud of how hard my husband and I have worked for many years to provide a great life for our children. We have a nice home near a good school, two cars and enough for preschool and dance classes.

Now that we are a single income household, we have had to make some adjustments. Sadly, we didn’t adjust enough. We didn’t plan. If we wanted to go on this trip so badly, we should have planned for it better than we did. Yeah, we did have some unexpected expenses pop up, but if we had planned better, it wouldn’t have been a problem. We made the choice for our family to have me stay home with our children. We don’t regret that decision, but we’ve still been living life as we were a double income household. We didn’t sacrifice.

Staying home from this trip is our sacrifice. We are learning the lesson of our generation. We can’t have everything we want all the time. Now, we have to raise the next generation to understand the same thing.

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Summertime Texts- June 6, 2014

Friday, June 6th, 2014

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Today was the first day I ever took both kids to the pool by myself. I started packing at 7:00am. We were gone all morning, but the cooler, pool bag and stroller were packed for when we were to finally end up poolside by lunchtime. My husband gets half day Fridays in the summer. It’s nice.

My pool babies were wonderful…until they weren’t. I think these texts between he and I speak for themselves:

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Note the photo of the 3-year-old mid-tantrum. Can you hear the baby screaming in the background of that photo? I can. The pool is awesome…until it isn’t. Happy freakin’ summer, ya’ll.

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Nine Years- April 23, 2014

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014

To My Husband On Our 9th Anniversary:

We’ve been married nine years today. It’s not a big anniversary. We agreed to not really do anything to celebrate. We are not jumping out of a plane like we did on our first anniversary. We’re not doing Vegas like we did on our fifth. No, we’re cooking dinner and folding laundry. We’ll watch a show on the DVR. We whispered “Happy Anniversary” this morning when we heard the baby fuss and the 3-year-old demand our attention.

9years

Today we’ll likely be passing ships as we are so many days. We’re sailing the sea of everyday life together. We talk about money, work, the house and kids like so many other couples. There are marvelous things in our ordinary life that make me love you more than I did nine years ago.

You have to know that there is not a day that passes that I don’t appreciate us as friends. Best friends. When I was away with my girlfriends a few weeks ago, I couldn’t help but text you about the score of the NCAA tournament. I wanted your opinion on the game. I wanted to hear your funny observations and witty comments. While I was enjoying myself with my friends, part of my heart was with you at home. Last night I smiled when you watched Dance Moms with me and I heard you say, “Oh! Yeah. I mean, Kristy is totally right about that one!” Yes, I just told the Internet that you watch Dance Moms. Sorry. But, I like watching it with you.

I love that we intensely discuss what houses we would be sorted into at Hogwarts. I love that we watch every ESPN 30 for 30. We plan our worldwide future vacations that are only dreams right now. I love that you get excited for our daughter when there is a new episode of Sofia The First on Disney Junior. You fetch pacifiers and bring me drinks when I’m trapped under a baby on the couch. Most of all you support my goals and honor my needs. I only hope I’m doing the same for you.

I’m proud of you. I’m proud of the life we’ve built together. You are everything I want in a best friend.  You make an ordinary life exceptionally wonderful. Thank you. Happy Anniversary.

 

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Penis Parties- April 7, 2014

Monday, April 7th, 2014

This weekend one of my best friends loaded her luggage in my Jeep and we took a road trip to the beach for the first time in awhile. Sara and I were off to celebrate another long-time bestie, Colleen. After a string of jerks  Colleen found Thomas. I knew when I met him that he was one. I was very fortunate to be able to go to the party since my aunt and uncle live a mile off the island. I was five minutes away from Henry if he needed me. It was the first night I spent away from my little 5-month-old.

photo (91)Kissing the bride.

Of the girls in our grade in the sorority, I was one of the first to get married. Let me assure you, I didn’t plan for it to be that way. Before I met Greyson I was convinced I wouldn’t get married until my 30’s. Love changes the best laid plans. It’s hard to believe it will be nine years this month. Colleen is one of the last to get married. We laugh about the differences between planning a wedding at 23 (me) and at 32 (her). For example, Colleen bought her own awesome Jimmy Choos to wear down the aisle because she makes her own money and she can. I didn’t ask my parents for Jimmy Choos since I was only two years out of college, poor and counting on them to pay for everything. I wouldn’t change anything, but don’t tell my parents or my husband that I do envy the maturity of Colleen’s wedding.

This is the only photographic evidence of my bachelorette party that I will share. It is edited to protect your fragile eyes. Yes, it is a blinking penis necklace.

bachelorette necklace

 

My party consisted of dinner, then a game of “Pin The Penis On The Hunk” and so many shots. So. Many. As each friend walked down the aisle, there was some ridiculous celebration or another. One girl wore a “Suck for a Buck” t-shirt covered in Lifesavers. For another friend we hid paper hearts with guys in bars and the bride had to go up to them and ask if they “had a heart on.” Some cowboy beefcake stripper boarded the party bus for my sister. The stories go on and on. All of these were during my twenties.

This weekend we had the privilege of staying at a family friend’s beautiful island mansion. We strolled on the dock, went out to a nice dinner and stopped at one bar. It wasn’t crowded. We danced for a bit, had a few drinks and were back at the house by 11:45. There was only one penis thing. A penis cake. This one had fondant and was baked by an actual chef. We laughed, remembering ten years ago when we bought some Betty Crocker mix and baked penis cakes for another friend.

I looked at Colleen’s happy face and realized this is so much better. We were silly college girls, then funny twenty-somethings and now we’re experienced. We’re wives, divorcees, mothers, professionals and still friends.

I looked at the cake and thought about that stupid blinking necklace and said, “You know, my relationship with the penis has changed now that I wipe a tiny one all the time.” The passage of time, penis by penis.

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