I’ve made it no secret how I most often express myself. No, not just the emotional vomit I spew on this blog, but how I express breast milk. I do it in the car. Almost always. I like to call it “Vehicular Milk Expression.” When I was working full-time after my first child, I would pump in the wee hours of the morning so a fresh bottle would be ready for my husband to give the baby while I was on TV reporting the morning news.
I pumped in the news live truck when my photographer was elsewhere. I pumped in my news car in the parking lot of some place while making calls for interviews. I got so good at it I pumped while driving. Even when I wasn’t working I was driving down the road and pumping.
Now that I am home with Baby #2 I find myself on the road toting us around our fair city and find that once again, it’s just easiest to do it in the car. Even if my husband is driving, I’ll be in the passenger seat pumping and putting on makeup. After getting everyone else ready to go somewhere, it’s the only place to get it done and still get somewhere on timeish. Sometimes when he’s driving and notices someone looking at me funny he says, “Woman! Cover up!” I snort and reply, “Baby’s gotta eat.” Usually my shirt is covering up the goods. It does make me chuckle to think of the fine member of law enforcement who would have the distinction of pulling me over mid-expression. Hey, I’ve said it before, “Baby’s gotta eat.”
So, I get the question all the time, “How do you do it?” I’m glad you asked! Vehicular Milk Expression requires proper equipment. Here’s what you need:
1. A pump: Obviously.
2. A hands-free pumping bra: Keep your hands on the wheel, ladies! Safety first! And yes, it will get milk stains like mine. Sorry. You should know.
3. Bottles: You need pump bottles, but don’t forget a bottle to empty your milk into! I speak from experience. Your baby will need to actually drink this milk.
4. A nursing cover: If you wish. A shirt, jacket/blazer, towel or blanket also works. The cover helps you be hands-free.
5. An AC Adaptor: When I kept running out of batteries I got one of these from Radio Shack, I think. Are there still Radio Shacks? I dunno. Anyway, it plugs into the cigarette lighter in your car. So, when you’re done smoking, you can pump. (I’m kidding. Cigarettes kill, ya’ll.)
Not Pictured: Pump wipes. They are helpful if you are big on cleaning your pump parts. (I’m not.) When I was working, they were a necessity. Batteries if you don’t use the plug.
I hope this helps explain how I express myself! Remember girls, no matter where you have to go, “baby’s gotta eat!”