This morning I got dressed for work and glanced at my reflection wearing a pretty blue cardigan, dress pants, and peep toe heels. I was comfortable.
This afternoon I grabbed some chocolate from the office candy jar. I enjoyed every sweet bite.
Tonight I shared leftover takeout with my husband. We chuckled at our baby smearing her dinner around. I was happy.
There was a time in my life when none of that was possible. No mealtime was comfortable. Any treat was guilt-ridden. No clothing looked good. I was consumed by the self-loathing and obsessive behavior that comes with an eating disorder.
I don’t talk about Anorexia very often. It’s not that I won’t or can’t. I will and I can. I’m not ashamed of what I’ve been through. In fact, I’m proud of my recovery. It’s just in my past.
I thank God all the time that my disease didn’t take my life. I thank God it didn’t take my fertility.
I hope and pray that anyone suffering from an eating disorder can get to where I am. I wish they too could get to the point of not really thinking about their disease because it doesn’t consume them anymore.
If you want to know more. Ask me. I’ll help however I can.
Aaaannnd…cue “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child.
“Thought I couldn’t breath without ya,
You thought I couldn’t see without ya,
You thought I couldn’t last without ya,
but I’m lastin’
You thought that I would die without ya,
but I’m livin’
Thought that I would fail without ya,
but I’m on top
Thought that it would be over by now,
but it won’t stop….
Thought that I would self destruct,
but I’m still here Even in my years to come,
I’m still gonna be here”